cultivating belonging across world illustration

Cultivating Belonging

Why a sense of connection matters

By: Marita Fridjhon

cultivating belonging across world illustration

Fostering a sense of belonging is key on every level. It applies to partnerships, teams, organizations, and the larger culture, as well as in personal, community and economic spheres. We are inextricably linked to one another.

To move forward, we must find ways to welcome the differences between us. While creating a sense of belonging within a group brings challenges, this work is essential. The reality is that there is not a single system, human or otherwise, that does not contain differences. If our nation, the world, and humanity is to unite in reality as well as in name, we must service this evolution.

Now, our greatest challenge is to actively cultivate connection and belonging. Unless we recognize our interdependence and make a conscious commitment to support it, we will remain in chaos.

Belonging in the workplace

In a Deloitte & Touche Global Corporate survey, 93 percent of corporate leaders and managers said that fostering a sense of belonging in the workplace is the biggest challenge their organization faced in 2021.T his agreement on the importance of belonging was one of the highest rates of consensus in a decade of Global Human Capital trends reports.

They suggest fostering a culture in which employees find comfort, connection, and contribution. In the survey, 44 percent of participants agreed on two top drivers which create belonging:

  • feeling valued for individual contributions
  • and aligning with the organization’s purpose, mission and values.

Leadership that promotes purpose emphasizes the quality of relationship and aligns employees in working towards mutual goals. Having taken this approach, Unilever’s Brands with Purpose initiative is growing 69 percent faster than the rest of the business.

Belonging on a personal level

Not only do we need to feel a sense of belonging at work, it is also integral to our personal lives.

Sheltering in place during the pandemic brought a shift to the workplace and our home environments. It redefined the social construct in the office, challenged intimate relationships and added complexity to parental roles as kids began learning from home.

The social fabric, as we knew it for decades, changed. Radically.

To better understand the impact of this shift, consider psychologist Susan Pinker’s groundbreaking research on the phenomenon of longevity.

In her work, Pinker explored why the Italian island of Sardinia has ten times as many centenarians as North America does. She speculates that long life is connected to social connection and a sense of belonging.

Pinker references the work of Julianne Holt Lundstadt, a Brigham Young University professor in Utah who conducted studies with middle-aged people over decades. The research measured the impact of scientifically known factors for good health, such as diet and exercise. In addition, social elements such as a person’s significant other, circle of friends and colleagues were considered.

The efficacy of these factors was measured repeatedly as the researchers returned with a standard and repeated cadence. The results supply a picture of who remained alive, and which factors were most significant in reducing the chances of dying.

Over several decades, researchers were surprised to learn that known and trusted good habits like diet and exercise were not the most important. In terms of social factors, having a significant other – the spouse or trusted friend that you can call in the middle of the night when in need – only ranked second.

The first and most significant factor impacting longevity overall is something defined as social construct or social integration. This refers to casual, even passing interactions with people whose names might not even be known. Waving at somebody walking their dog, a casual conversation with a vendor in the marketplace – these brief, “insignificant” social interactions turn out to be key to our health and happiness.

Indeed, it is social construct that impacts longevity more than anything else, by creating a sense of community and belonging.

Cultivating belonging is essential. Not only is a sense of connection necessary in our private and professional lives, it is integral to the health of our larger society. We have seen the division and discord that appears when we lack a sense of connection to one another.

Nurturing a sense of connection

  • People need to feel valued as individuals.
  • Aligning on common goals is key.
  • Cultivating a social construct which encourages us to interact with one another regularly creates a sense of community, which in turn preserves our health.

In consciously nurturing belonging using the principles and tools of Relationship Systems Intelligence (RSI™), we chart a course that will allow us to progress through and past chaos.

Author

Marita Fridjhon ORSCC, ESIA, ICF-PCC

Marita Fridjhon is co-founder of CRR Global, co-creator of the world-recognized Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching (ORSC™) program and mentor to an ever-growing community of relationship systems practitioners. Her deeply integrative approach is drawn from her foundations in clinical social work, family systems therapy and organizational consulting. Marita is co-author of “Systems Inspired Leadership” and “Creating Intelligent Teams.

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