Storytelling as a design tool
- What beliefs and perspectives show up in your team’s stories
- Which ones are empowering?
- Which ones might you want to shift?
Organizational storytelling
Consider:
- How does your team connect to company mission and purpose statements?
- What values are part of your organization’s story?
- Is the team aligned with their stated purpose?
Seeing through many lenses
In relationship systems coaching, we understand that there’s no single right point of view. Every person sees a situation differently based on their own experience.
The perspective of a CEO will be different from that of those on the front lines. While the CEO might be focused on long-term vision, front-line staff are dealing with day-to-day reality. The more awareness we have of the many views that can exist at once, the more informed we become about what will benefit the system as a whole.
Our direction becomes clearer and more balanced.
Consider:
- How might someone with a different role or background see this differently
- What assumptions are being made?
- What can be learned from other experiences?
Unconscious roles in teams
Every system tells stories about who they are: “We’re scrappy,” “We’re adventurous,” or “We’re trustworthy.” These stories are shaped by collective dreaming, and roles get assigned and reinforced within them. When stories go unexamined, these roles can trap us in an outgrown narrative.
In Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching (ORSC™), we talk about “dreaming up” – the ideas and labels we unconsciously place on people. Often without realizing it, we imagine or expect that others are a certain way.
The invisible expectations that exist in teams and partnerships can hold us back. For example, a certain team member might become the one who fixes everything. When others depend on that person for answers, they avoid solving problems themselves. Fewer solutions are created, and the “fixer” can be left feeling overwhelmed.
Once we notice that a pattern isn’t serving us, we can choose a healthier approach. In questioning the stories the team tells, we begin to intentionally reshape the narrative to better fit our values and goals.
Consider:
- What roles could you be projecting onto a person or group?
- How might they be responding to that role without realizing it?
- What becomes possible when we recognize these unspoken dynamics?
Our language shapes our thinking
Language is another aspect of storytelling. In a Relationship Matters podcast episode exploring narratives, ORSC coach Kiki Kesseler and host Katie Churchman spoke about the importance of the words we choose.
When we use absolute words like “always,” “never,” “everyone,” or “everything,” the language strips away detail, nuance and complexity. Absolute storytelling puts people, events, and experiences into neat boxes, making a complex world feel more predictable. Yet it misses the complexity of relationship and the shifting nature of systems.
Choose more flexible and specific words to open the door to new choices, and leave room for growth and change.
Consider:
- Is the language you use empowering? Does it enlist or repel those around you?
- How can a situation be described in way that is generous to others?
- Which words can create more connection?
Lighting the path forward
When we illuminate these places where dreaming begins, we light the path forward for the system.
Imagine that each member of a team or partnership brings their own threads to the pattern of relationship that is being woven. Some threads intertwine easily. Others are knotted or leave gaping holes. As coaches and leaders, we encourage the frayed edges to reach toward each other, and to intentionally create the pattern.
We are all part of a larger design. The stories we tell shape our systems and the way we see one another. Becoming conscious of the patterns we weave gives us the power to design what we are creating. Changing the narrative allows us to reinvent ourselves.
We can become better storytellers for ourselves and each other. We can choose what we want to highlight and how we want to show up.
If you imagine that you have been invited into relationship for a reason, what story are you being called to create?
The Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching (ORSC™) series provides tools and skills to shape the stories we tell about systems, reveal different perspectives, and support partnerships and teams in bringing ideas into fruition. Learn more.
